So it's been a while since my very somber post, but alot's been going on over on my end as I made the transition from 2011 to 2012, and already it's shaping up to be a very busy (and hopefully prosperous) year!
First on the agenda, I'd like to share a link which I'll be cross-posting elsewhere for a piece I submitted to Yahoo! Voices before the new year. CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY.
Now, tell me you about it...
It's an overhauled version of the second part in a series of short stories I wrote many years ago which were to be the basis for a sci-fi universe I one day hope to explore thru multimedia outlets (comics, film/tv/web, games, etc). That said, alot of things will not be fully explained as these other stories are yet to be told, so don't be surprised if you find yourself not having all the answers at the end. On top of that, the stories are written in the form of traditional journal entries with a futuristic twist, so many descriptive details are omitted as part of the style of the writings, and the breaking of "chapters" is handled in an odd format as a result of this as well.
Amusingly though, it seems my foresight that journal-writing in the future would be mostly unchanged and just simply gathered in different media with different terminology. The changes of the past 12 or so years alone have been proof of this (i.e. blogging, vlogging, etc.), and if even in a clumsy way, I tried to reflect this in the update to the story.
As these were initially written in 1998, I had to take a good long look at things given that the outlook from a post 9-11 world was very different from that time, and that was the main thing I had to update. Given global events of the last 14 years, it made a lot of sense to me to go back and revise the first part entirely before I revised the second for publishing. I also felt it more appropriate to release this part of the story because I wanted to show a clear definition of the direction the story started in and where I intend it to go while also bringing this universe to life with a sense of optimism that I feel was lacking in the very dark, very war-centric story of the first part.
My hope is to fully revise and release the initial short stories that were to build up the core of this universe so that I can both get the word out about the universe of this story, as well as have some original content up to get some small income without having to charge for it.
(And remember: I get paid per click, so if you just want to skim and share the link to get others to click just for hits, I won't judge you. ^_~)
Next on the list: upcoming events! Sadly, I don't have many lined up, and I'm also trying to limit how many I have for the front end of the year due to some personal changes I wish to make which will allow me more creative freedom long term. I ask that you all hope for the best for me, because a few of the things left pending will hopefully make a HUGE difference and let me go to more events and hopefully get me more opportunities to entertain you guys in different facets.
Also, still no word on the new dates for Next Broadway Star
, but I promise to update when I have them.
And so with that, 2012 begins! If you need to leave feedback on anything, please go to my Facebook Page
as my comment box is still not functioning. I've also disabled comments on the Yahoo page since it's not really an article and I'd rather feedback end up in places I'll check regularly.
Here's to the future...both real and fictional!
I feel that's an apropos way to open up this particular old wound for, what I imagine, will be the last time for many years.
To anyone who's known me since before I threw myself heavy duty into the anime scene, and to anyone who's gotten to know me thereafter, it's no secret that a pivotal event on my life was the passing of my father at the age of sixteen. Sometime around 7pm tonight will have marked exactly ten years since a day I dreaded for five of those sixteen years came to pass: when I received word from my mom that my father had passed away.
Every day since then has been a bit of a race against time for me; at first it was the preserve the roof over my head, and now it is to be able to transition from a decent life to a better one while the final gift from my father still remains. What has always marked this time has been the question of "what if certain things had happened differently?" I wonder what would have happened if a few of the decisions my father made in life were made in other ways. Would I still be on the path I am now, or would I have deviated into another one entirely? Would I be happier or wealthier, or would I be poor both in spirit and wallet?
When the first race ended and I entered the transitional period I've been undergoing in the last two years, I found that the question was still relevant, but with a different answer to it: I found that I would be happy as long as I lived up to the standard my father would've expected me to, regardless of profession. It was also how I would present the legacy I inherited in my name and in the way I carried myself. Whatever I was to do, however I was to act, it would no longer be as some dumb, geeky, fluffy haired kid named Mario, it would be as Mario Bueno, the youngest son of Doctor Hermann R. Bueno, a man who changed lives and is still remembered by those in his field to this day.
I now reflect ten years on and no longer ask myself "how could things be different." Instead, I ask "can I still do my father's legacy proud without sacrificing my own hopes and dreams?"
I've become more confident as the years go by that the answer can still be "yes." While my own name has been dragged thru the mud at times, as is to be expected with anyone who publicly presents themselves in any fashion, I can still look back and see that I have done some good things with this name, and can carry it proudly as I continue to press forward to forge my own legacy that I wish to leave behind. I find myself living both for the past and the future, because I now see that the final gift my father left behind was the ability to live well and carry myself with dignity while I pursue a career that will suit me well...one which, as I always hope, will let me bring joy and inspiration to others. This is also reflected in the attitude I've started to take as a result of this epiphany; I've had my fun, taken my licks, but I need to get serious and change up the way I do things and take it up to the next level...whatever that next level may be.
In 2006, five years after his passing, I wrote this in a blog entry:
"Something that he left with me, though he never said it or probably even meant to impart it on me in the way I see it today, was the notion that if you work hard enough and exude enough confidence in what you do, you could do anything.
That's one thing I admire about my dad looking back: he was always a hard worker in addition to being an intellectual. To my amusement, another thing I realized...is that he succeeded in making me the thing my high school wanted for all its students...And he did it because he was the shining example of one.
He made me a gentleman."
He also served as a great example of selflessness, giving of himself for me and his other children. Whether the gifts were used wisely or squandered, he would always make sure his children were taken care of and were given every opportunity to thrive if they had the desire. He threw himself into his work because, from even as far back as when he was a surgeon in Colombia, he believed in what he did. A God-fearing man, he also kept a strong faith despite being a medical researcher, and I believe his faith is what kept him focused on the path he lived. It kept him both rooted in his humanity while giving him a standard of living to adhere to. It's another one of his legacies that he imparted to me.
He was also of a very positive and supporting nature. But even in what was probably meant as simple fatherly wisdom, I look back and realize that this was how he presented himself, especially in his older years: he was a sage, one who had experienced life throughout a rapidly changing period of our history, but still managed to keep on top of what was relevant for his sake and the sake of his children. He had been there and done that, for the most part, and saw the world in a slightly different way than others. But he "got it" nonetheless.
He was a lover of the classics, both literature and music. I was always told that he would play classical music for me when I was in the womb in order to begin cultivating a love of these things. Between that and the classically-minded education I received at Saint David's that strengthened this intent, I can safely say that this desire of his was fulfilled.
While I look back and accept that I never kept my promise to him to find some sort of scientific profession to throw myself into, I see a sort of compromise thru my loves of science fiction and technology, as well as how I've implemented it in my life. My father and I shared a love of cutting edge tech, although it slowed down for him somewhat in his last years due to his ailments.
Having run the first Google search I'd ever done for his name, I've found he's been cited in health books, and is even remembered fondly as a mentor by some of their authors. Speaking to one of his patients earlier this year, a musician named Gust Tsilis (http://www.gusttsilis.com/), who told me in full detail the story of how my father literally saved his life, was inspiring to hear and further promotes the image I always had about him, and has enhanced my desire to proudly become whatever great man he expected me to be.
Some keepsakes (both literal and figurative) remind me of him and keep him fresh in my memory, and everything I ever proudly put my name on is my way of showing him how proud I am to have been his child. I hope that I can one day leave such a beloved legacy as well.
There is so much I wish I could put down, so many memories I'd like to share about the times we spent together as father and son, the conversations we'd have, the rituals I still carry on in his absence and hope to pass down to my descendants...but it would take forever to do so properly, and I wish to memorialize him today while the time is still right.
And so it is thru tearstained eyes I write this final eulogy to you, Dad, because I have finally come to terms with everything you left me. I swear I will do you proud and that I will always work hard because it was what you wanted for me. It was why you put all your faith in me in your later years and pushed me to excel while giving me everything I could ever need or want from a father.
This is also my penance for any ill-will I ever had during the time of your ailment; for not being able to do more for you when you were around; for any ingratitude I had as a result of the difficulties my mother and I have had to face in the subsequent years because of things you could never have foreseen.
Most of all, this is my to be my digital memorial to you, despite the fact that I have no truly digital pictures of you. I want the world to know one more time how much you truly meant to me and how much you shaped me into the man I am becoming, and the man I one day hope to be remembered as.
I love you, dad. I have since before my first breath and will forever after my last.
Hermann Ramirez Bueno, MD
Beloved father, scholar, gentleman
September 5, 1922 - December 29, 2001
...Yeah, I'm in a bit of a silly mood, but who can blame me after a session doing some play-testing of the MTV edition of Yoostar
I've been posting stuff I've been doing for them on my Facebook page
, so be sure to check out new videos as I put them up. Also, more importantly, PLAY THIS GAME.
I love the fact that it encourages goofy behavior that you can share with your friends, and from what I've been learning, there's already an online community for the game, so you may end up making new friends along the way as well!
I personally recommend it as a casual party game if you need an alternative to the plethora of music simulation games and want one that actually works with the camera function very well. Besides, everyone loves to rag on reality TV, so why not share your disgust with the world in hilarious fashion? ^_~
Also, as a reminder, Next Broadway Star's Semifinal Round is going to be this coming Monday! I'll be spamming the social networks to remind everyone, but please do drop by! The penultimate round has been super important to me as one of my goals in the competition was to make the finals to break top three...the more support I have, the more likely I think I can do this! *__*UPDATE (12/11/11): So it's with great regret that I write to inform everyone that the next round of Next Broadway Star was postponed as of yesterday. At this point, there is no new date set, but the tentative return for the competition is sometime in January.
(I also have a great performance planned for this one, so I do hope many of you will be there to catch it live. ^_~)
The reason for my delay in breaking this news is that I was waiting for word regarding the reason for said delay so I could properly explain the situation with something more than this. As I recieved via email a little while ago from Gunnar Larson, Network Global's President:
"We plan on picking this up again in January after more promotion and outreach can be organized and devoted to the exciting project.
The NGC team thanks you very much for your involvement, we are sorry for the late notice. However, the competition will be far more dynamic, organized and will reach many more people with a little more work behind the scenes, particularly on the promotion front."
My sincerest apologies to all of you who were going to go out of your way to come support me, and I hope this new information eases the sting a little bit.
Hope y'all enjoy the videos and I hope the holidays are treating all of you very well!